Fighting Techniques

Loki: Have you seen that new show 'Whitney' being advertised? It is funny because she talks about not giving your man the silent treatment when you are mad because really that is just what the man wants. I do this often. T and I will get in a heated discussion and after going in circles we stop talking altogether. Then I speak to him as little as possible the rest of the night and perhaps the next day too. I think this is punishing him but I fear it only keeps me angry. It is the next morning of me giving the "silent treatment" and I just don't think stomping my feet and screaming is going to work either. Do you give the silent treatment? I think that is just what the men want...for you to drop it. Drop whatever it is you are arguing about and go on your merry way prentending everything is fine. Bleh..MEN

Nana Bess:  ugh! I am afraid you get this from me! :(  I used to give your dad the silent treatment ALL THE TIME.. like everytime we got in "fights" over ususally something so silly.  My feelings would get hurt and all I wanted was an apology of some sort. "I am sorry".  But your dad KNEW I was mad and thought that the "silient treament" was me being mad and he left me alone.  So I could get over it and move on.  I don't get over things until they are hashed out and there is an end to the arguement and an "I am sorry"  "I love you" ANYTHING.

Loki: Yes thats what I am saying! And then the minute I start talking to him again...this usually happens because I have a need to speak to him about something mundane so then he assumes that the fighting period is over. And then again nothing is resolved. Don't worry your problems don't just go away...the next time you disagree about something than the old subject will be brouht up again. Big T actually said to me that he has heard this same argument time and time again and apparently I am not coming up with any new material. So until I do he no longer wants to discuss it. Which is rubish because when I have 10 good points and he only has one (which is dumb anyway) how come he wins?

Nana Bess:  I used to be mad for days.  Then I would cave in... start crying again ... or just let it go.  Eventually I learned that the silent treatment ONLY hurts me.  You are right.  It is good to hash them out.  It is hard to hash stuff out with someone who won't hash them out back with you!  This is another problem I had.  I had words words and more words.. point 1, point 2 and point 3  I am so good at communicating EXACTY how I feel, that I think I overwhelm your poor father, who is not a "wordy" man.  What do you think non wordy men do when wordy women throw too many words at them?  They just don't say anything!  UGH!  How can you FIGHT with a silent man?  That is more frustrating than being the silent one!!!!

Loki: T (I can not keep calling him Big T...it is just getting weird) likes to run away from me. He leaves. Which I get is a good point. This is something we learned early in our relationship because if we didn't take a break than it just esculates into something nasty. The problem with this so called break is that he never comes back and says "ok let's discuss this again". Bleh. I am just trying to explain my feelings and I feel like it is very clear and that there should be some sort of compassion or understanding or some kind of acknowledgment that I just poured my heart out and that I am struggling or whatever and then.....SILENCE. HELLO!! I am speaking to you! Oh my gosh do you know who else does this? Stella. She shuts down and is silent too when you start arguing with her. Drives me bonkers. I am a yeller and a screamer...I don't know how to be silent.

Nana Bess:  This is what I do now.   I get mad and let the man know my feelings. (with out yelling or whinning, which is extremely HARD to do).  Then I get over it.  I don't expect him to tell me HIS feelings on the subject, because I have learned over the years, he just doesn't have the words to express himself or he chooses not to.  Whichever.  I just move on.  It is the hardest thing to do, but alas.. it is the only thing to do! My only constalation is I have let HIM know exactly HOW I feel.  I am and always will be an open book.  JUST ASK! ha/ha.

Loki: Consolation mom...not constalation. Thats like a group of stars or something in the sky. Sorry I just had to. Between us two I am sure Stella would have a hay day trying to edit this masterpeice.

Nana Bess:  ha/ha... yeah yeah.. whatever the word is..you get the point!  I do often use the wrong words or spelling of words, but I know those who love me understand what I am trying to say.  I got a laugh out of that one myself! :)  And, btw.. I am sorry you, too have a non-wordy, lets resolve things man.... I feel your pain.. but look at me.. 29 years nearly later and I am still here and able to love and live with the non-wordy man! :)  (and yes.. Stella does do this, but I think it is good, because if she shuts down like that it is her way of NOT exploding.  I think that is why your father does it too.  It is really a good thing.  Silence vs explosion.  Maybe it is the same reason Big T walks away!

Stella: I am not even going to try. But it's CONSTELLATION, you fools

What is your fighting technique OR do you prefer to look at ducks in the sky?

Who are you?

Saucy: I am a mushy, mopey mommy. As I wake in the morning, I stumble out of bed at the urging of my dear little boy’s whimpers in the room next door. I swoop him up and return right back to my bed, shove my nipple into his ravenous mouth, and close my eyes for a feeble attempt for just 5 more minutes of my precious sleep. Meatball won’t here of more sleep, and poops to let me know I am required to get out of bed or smell the horrendous odor in my dreams. Ah, the day has begun. I go lay him down for a little bit of play time….or for 2 minutes until he realizes I have left; and as I groggily walk to the bathroom I take one look in the mirror, glancing myself over, up and down, I notice my chipmunk like cheeks storing up nonexistent food in them covered in red dots that I haven’t seen for a couple years, my boobs are trying to reach for my knees to say hello, there is mush hanging off what most people take pride in calling “abs”. OH and don’t forget the lovely looking claw marks all down my stomach and the insides of my thighs. It looks like I got attacked by an angry kitty. I proceed to play on my laptop (aka facebook) for a while to notice bio dad’s oh so classy status updates of hooters’ girls, clubbing, and how in love he is with his gf, and my absolute personal favorite, “living the life of a father”. The weekend comes around and I dream of $500 shopping sprees, western dancing, dinner and a movie at warren, when all of a sudden the reality of unemployment strikes me across my oily ole’ face! So instead I go to wally world and do some grocery shopping and get to admire all the wonderful little children with their mommies and daddies, and think to myself “oh im so glad MY son gets to have a daddy like that too” ……………………okay, I’m done.

Eyes of Blue: I am a whiney, wimpy workaholic. WAA WAA WAA. Every morning is like groundhog day. I jump out of bed in a panic because I am conditioned to snooze my 3 alarms for 30 minutes until I realize I somehow turned them off in my sleep and now have less than 45 minutes to shower, get ready, make my lunch, and leave. When will I ever learn to wake up like a normal person? That may sound like plenty of time...but I beg to differ since I stare at my disaster zone closet for an unmentionable amount of time with absolutely nothing to wear. Let me just say that you DO NOT want to see me like this. I hate finding clothing. I need someone to please be my personal shopper and to have all my outfits in order by day so all I have to do is put it on and go. By the time I give up and put something ugly on, I’m in an awful mood and speed to work in a rage. Welp, I made it to work in one piece and it’s time to begin my day. I make a huge pot of coffee and check my email. If my to-do pile didn’t triple in size over the weekend like it usually does, I check my facebook newsfeed to see it clogged with lake pictures and amazing summer plans. That must be the life. After I gulp down two cups of coffee, I'm ready to conquer the day. The phone rings off the hook the entire day with crazy people wanting more information about a house they don’t know what the address is. I think it's a bit unfortunate that you have to smoke to get a break around here these days. The realtors I work with can be entertaining, but are extremely needy and like to use me as their own personal complaint department every time they come in. I rather enjoy it usually. It makes the day go by faster and it's much better than being stuck alone in a hole... aka cubical.

WHICH ONE ARE YOU??? A MUSHY MOPEY MOMMY, A WHINEY WIMPY WORKAHOLIC, OR MAYBE BOTH??

Bras for Gma's?

Stella: Now that I have a job, I actually have a few stories to share. Like how the other day I was stalked all day long by a grandma & her poor grandaughter. First of all, this old lady comes up to me asking me a thousand questions about the store & things like "What size do you think my grandaughter is?" and "What do you think she'd like?" All of the things I don't know about a total stranger.... But since I'm so nice and friendly (at work) I try to help her out just for poor little girl's sake, who is being dragged around by her totally un-cool grandma. And before you know it, her grandma is sharing her life's story with me and prattling on about how her grandaugher is at the age where she needs to start wearing a bra, but she doesn't want to. And how she's "gonna have to start wearing one pretty soon because she's going to be embarrassed when it gets cold and her nipples are sticking out." I think I look just as mortified as the little girl when the grandma was telling me this. I felt awful for her. She tried to look like she was busy looking around the store... I felt her pain. I would have been so humiliated if my mom or grandma started telling some random sales lady this kind of information. And I probably would have hid in my room for the next year if anyone had said nipple in front of me when I was 12. I was even humiliated when my mom ever-so-kindly just stuck a bra into my panty drawer for me to start wearing. (Bess gives herself mad-props for using this non-evasive technique with me, but I still didn't like it.)

Loki: hahah.. This is so funny. People are hilarious. I was not afraid or embarrassed about boobs or bras. I mean I was dying to wear a bra....to have boobs and the bigger the better. I have no idea why, but I was just ready to grow up. I guess it is a good thing since I was the first to have to do such things. I am pretty sure I even remember trying to stuff my bra. I don't think I ever went into public with toilet paper hanging out of my shirt, but I am sure I tried it at the house. Which looking back is sort of funny because I would consider myself somewhat of a tomboy back then. It really wasn't about boys..just boobs. I do remember that my cousin told me that I was going to have saggy boobs like my mom one day and that she would have the perfect juggs like her mom. Sorry Bess... I don't know why she said that because A. You don't have saggy boobs and you were probably only 35 then anyway and B. Her mom had fake ones. I also remember this same cousin and one of her little friends spied on me one time after I got out of the shower and then laughed about it. I don't know why this was funny to he,r but I got out of the shower one time and came into my room to get dressed. I didn't have curtains or shades because we lived in the country and my room was facing the creek...and trees so no one could see in. I remember looking in the mirror and then all of a sudden hearing snickering... and I look out my window to see my cousin and her friend laughing at me like I was something to laugh at. I guess my 14 year old body was somehow funny. Creepers.

Stella: That is disturbing! Peeping Toms! Glad I've got curtains and blinds! I am pretty sure Bella is going to be like you. "Oh, Mom, I need this bra. It's so darling! Oh wait, I want to get this padded one too!" I can already hear the words... They frighten me. For advice on these matters, I will be calling Small Town Aunt. (Hey, hey, it's a good thing we don't have to change her name since they've moved to another rinky-dinky town. No offense..) Or I could talk about them with Bess, but then that makes it even worse if you overhear your mother telling your grandma all your personal business. I don't know if Bella will be like me in that regard, but in my opinion, it's still not safe to tell Bess things like that. Bess has always had a big mouth. Can I just point that out?! It was one of the main reasons I hated her for an entire year in the 8th grade. Just for an example, she announced to my best friend's aunt that I started my period. I'm sure she thought this was just something cute & gossipy to tell her at the time. But hello! I NEVER even told my best friend OR MY MOM. I would have rather died. I just went about my business and didn't think anyone needed to know. But instead my bff got a personal account of the "big event" from her aunt and was so so mad at me about it for not telling her and starting before her. She even called me "Little Miss Period" one time in a mean letter. Geesh. I'll never forget that. Why were girls so anxious to start that up? Bet you regret that one now Loki. P.S. I am still slightly mortified about writing of my adolescent years.

Loki: "Little Miss Period"! Hahahaha How funny. My bff started hers in the 2nd grade! 2ND GRADE! This is highly unusual as no one wants to know about periods when you are 7. This same friend told me she might be pregnant in the 7th grade and I was horrified. I even wrote into Brio magazine about it because I had no idea what to do about it. I think that was the first time that I had a big secret to hide from my mom.  As it turns out, my friend had not even had SEX and was just trying to get attention. (Brio sent me a book about it and encouraged me to share with my friend.) Sheesh. I think we quit hanging out around that time too. I find it odd that things would happen to you and you would just keep them all bottled up. You  mean there are things that happen to you that you don't tell anyone? I am a share--er. I probably over share a lot of the time. I mean I recount every part of my day (however boring) it may be all the time, why wouldn't I tell on the big things?! I am noticing that your young Bella is picking up on a lot of our conversations as of late. We will have to start watching what we say. I remember listening to mom talk on the phone. It wasn't really that she was talking to me or whatever, it was just listening to her talk about things or say things that she wouldn't to me but to her friends. I think all children are embarrased of their parents at one time or another. I am sure you will embarass Bella one day too...and I will be the cool aunt who takes her out to coffee and explains the ways of the world to her. P.S. I keep getting told that "one day Bella will like you."

Stella: Yes, you tend to overshare. Just read the first few lines of your last little bit and you can see that. Like I needed to know all of that. Hah. I am NOT letting you take her out to teach her anything! Let's just get that straight. Then I'd have to pay for a therapist! hah. Now back to the topic at hand, I have one more story to add about weird customers. One lady come in and dropped $140 on PANTIES alone. Mostly cute little boyshorts. But $140 worth? That's insane. (Not to mention the panties were all 40% off at the time so that's with a good discount!) People are weird.

Do you think Bucky Covington got his teeth fixed?

E.T. PHONE HOME

Loki: As usual, I have nothing else to talk about except my baby...and we all know how entertaining that is. She did just dunk my NEW phone in a cup of water. Apparently the phone looked thirsty. However, my phone has been revived...because it spent 24 hours in a bag of rice. My SIL has always sworn this works so I decided to try it. I guess the rice is able to suck out all the water from the tiny crevaces. Hooray! I am back in business and can now resume Words with Friends. (or really just get annoyed at TMC for cheating.)

Stella: Did you know that my phone is from 2006? That's right. I got it when Bella was a newborn babe. In fact, I still have photos of her on there when she was so teeny tiny. Aw, those were the days. I've been seeing all these darling little black children lately and I just want one so bad. Is that strange or what? Maybe I know my child-bearing years are rapidly coming to a close. The only thing that would make me nervous about raising a little black girl would be her hair. I mean, I've always had awful hair. And I feel that I wouldn't know how to calm or maintain that kind of hair either. I've given this quite a bit of thought. It wouldn't be the whole "you're a different color than Mommy" aspect that worries me or the fact that Saucy would think she stinks no matter what I did to her... Just the hair. Wow. I went way off topic just like you, Loki. Okay, back to the phones. I washed my new phone 2 years ago and that is why I am still using my old phone. No one told me about the rice trick. But I'm sure after a complete wash cycle, the phone was dead forever and no amount of rice could fix it. However, I am eligible for an upgrade in a few weeks and I have NO IDEA how to use a touch phone. They are still like 'from the future' to me. And I still don't understand how people can touch those tiny buttons on the screen with their fat fingers. I'm going to have to take lessons. I prefer my Katana flip phone that was manufactured in the dark ages.

Loki: Seriously, it will be like a whole new world for you. Don't worry it won't take you long and you will wonder how in the world you put up with your 2006 phone so long. I am excited to be able to send you pictures or play games with you. I am sure Bella will be an expert at it too. It is funny that you mentioned baby pictures because just yesterday Blue and I were playing on Big T's old phone and he had all these little 30 second videos of my sweet little baby and I just can't believe how big she is. I am really getting baby fever now. You could adopt a little black baby.  How fun that would be! Or you could marry a black man and then you would have a MIL to teach you. I would worry about the hair too, but you would learn I am sure. I know its like a culture thing...the black woman's hair. Chris Rock even made a movie about it.... about hair that is. I am getting annoyed because all week people have referred to me as being 30 or "about to be 30." I am not 30. I am 28. That's quite old enough for me. I feel like 30 is my baby deadline. (Yes, I know technically or physically its not but to me it is).

Stella: I'm hoping that since Blondie's BFF is now a Thunder girl she can hook me up with a date with Kevin Durant. I'm all about the male athletes that make over $50 million. Geesh. I'd buy you a house. I'd buy you 2 houses. And then you wouldn't have to go live at the farm in your broom skirt.  I don't want to even think about being 30. I've got one year left to find a man (where?!) and then two years left to bear children and then life is over. So don't talk to me about time running out! Anyway, speaking of phones, my pen pal tells me that now she is back home she is way conscious of saying that she is going to "phone" someone. I had told her that here we say we're gonna call or talk... We don't "phone" people. Haha. I think that is funny.

Loki: You just don't understand how real the farm is becoming. It is worrying me a little if I do say so myself. I would also like to say that because I am now ready to have another child, I, for some reason seem to think I am pregnant all the time. It is annoying me. And you too I am sure! I do not want to have to go through this again. (Let alone that we aren't even trying yet.) I told Bess that I am not going to say or think I am pregnant until I can feel kicking. Perhaps I will end up on "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant." Blue will have to learn to help her momma birth a baby ...because I will be stuck at the farm with no one to come and get me. Surely that will make the show... I am all for you marrying a PRO athlete. Dad would be so proud. Your grandparents may not...but that would probably be the only way you could marry a black man, they may over look it!

Also, I just bought a giant box of Tampax tampons at Sam's and I hate them. I usually buy Kotex and these are horrible. I have to go through like 500 of them before I can buy the ones I like. Note to self: Don't buy anything in bulk unless you love it. Pregnancy could not come fast enough.

Stella: Gross. You should donate them to the teen mothers. haha.

How many people think Loki will live at the farm? I say there's a 2% chance.

Retail Hell

Stella: I didn't think I was going to survive... But I am here to tell you that I did.  Opening weekend at the new Outlets is officially OVER. Thank God. Whoever came up with this idea to open the new outlet mall THE SAME EXACT weekend as the annual "Tax Free Weekend" is N-U-T-S. They obviously sit in a nice big corporate office and have never worked retail a day in their life. In fact, someone should have been handing out shirts for living through the massive headache that retail workers all over the metro experienced this past weekend. The word "insane" doesn't even quite describe it. Maybe stupid does. It was just plain STUPID.

Now opening night wasn't all that bad. Most of the big corporations around town seemed to have purchased the 37,000 tickets that were sold for the pre-sale from 6-9 p.m. The only intimidating thing about that night was that I got thrown into working with all the girls from the other store and I was the only new one. I'm like, Hello! Where are all my 16 year old babies that are supposed to make me look good?! Well, it wasn't actually too hard as working a cash register isn't rocket science and the store was pretty busy, but NOTHING like Friday when tax free weekend started and the doors were open to the public.

For the next three days straight, I walked in to the store to find a line to the door and it did not stop for the next 8 hours. (Well, the line of crazy people continued, but I was lucky enough to escape after my 8 hour shift.) I had to go from NOT working for a year to working 36 hours in one weekend. O.M.G. I never thought I'd say that, but O.M.G. I need a break!!! Every morning there were lines waiting outside HOURS before we even opened the door. The interstate was backed up with people just trying to exit. Cars were jumping over the median and people were parking miles away. Someone got shot for cutting in line. (Ha. Okay, I'm exaggerating on that one.) Not to mention, employees were required to park across the street and shuttle over to the outlet. Now that alone could be an entire blog in itself. Talk about awkward. It was crazy and it was HOT and I did not like having other people's sweaty arms rub against me.

Now keep in mind that we are just some stupid little girl's clothing store. So can you imagine what the lines were like at other stores? Yes, I am here to confirm that the rumors are true. It took about 2 hours on average just to get inside the Coach store. Lord knows how long it took to check out after that. People in our lines waited an hour & a half to check out. And they made sure it was worth their while too. Hundreds & hundreds of dollars... tons & tons of merchandise. Our store was looking empty & bare by the end of Day 1. But oh no, that didn't stop the freaks from lining up outside the door on Day 2 or Day 3. Did I mention that Channel 5 showed up and was filming us working during this as if it wasn't stressful enough? My fabulous feet (and orange shirt) made their debut on television later that evening. I hope you were all tuned in to catch this momentous event.

By that time, the babies were there working too but I don't know any of their names and I never saw them because being the retail veteran that I am (okay, the old 27 year old lady) I was stuck on the registers the entire time. I would yell at them from time to time to go get me something or to do something and one time I saw them all standing together not doing ANYTHING at all and it made me so mad. I could have made them lists of things they should be doing. Stupid babies that have never had a job before and don't know how to do anything. I am officially old. It's happened and I know it.

I'd just like to say that I'm not only physically tired from being on my feet all day, but I'm also mentally drained. As you should know by now, I'm not used to having to hold a conversation with anyone other than my mother to whom I'm a total and completely honest beast most of the time and now all of a sudden I have to ham it up and put on a big ole smile for hundreds of thousands of people. I am MENTALLY exhausted. I found myself saying the same things over and over.... "Have you guys been to any other stores?" and "Are you getting ready for school?" were my biggest conversation starters. These were real gems and would send them chattering away at me. My mouth was so parched every day and all this cheese balling has turned my mind into mush. I am just a moving robot now. Ring up jeans. Take sensor tag off jeans. Fold jeans. Put jeans in bag. Ring up shirt. Take sensor off shirt. Fold shirt. Add to pile. Make small talk with the woman staring at me. Take her money. Say something stupid & sweet along the lines of  "...and I just need you to sign this receipt please. Thank you guys! Have fun shopping!" I hate people. Do you guys remember this?!

Eh. All in all the people weren't too bad though. Some complained about waiting but HELLO! You came on the first day we're open on tax free weekend, you idiot! That's what I wanted to say. But no, I didn't. I just smiled and did my robotic apology and make some dazzling comment about the lines at the other stores. I can be quite the actress. Most people never even know I hate them. Jokes, jokes. Anyhow, I've never seen moms drops loads of money on little girls like this, but I guess most of them were doing "back to school" shopping (that I forgot to mention only added to the chaos.)

By the end of the weekend, the store was a mess. We're busy trying to reset the visual and rework the tables to fill it up because everything is a wreck & it looks so empty...However, we just got in 5,000 pieces to be processed and put out so even though the people aren't as bad, there is still so much to do. (This is my retail jargon for you...) Except now the customers are snippity & more hateful. There are just some people out there who want to be mean to you just for the sake of it. Some people just want someone to gripe at! I can not help it that the shirt cost $7.90 on sale. That is a freakin bargain. Would you just buy it already and quit asking me the total after everything I scan? It's on the screen right in front of your fat face. Did I mention that today the credit card machine wasn't working so we had to manually write reciepts or call in the info? It was miserable. My patience is gone.

Plus I haven't even seen my friend that is now my boss or even gotten to talk to her for that matter. She has been too busy doing her own 'boss things' and I still don't know anyone's names except the original girls from the other stores (who have already friended me on facebook) so I guess at least THEY like me. And they've all figured out that my "legal name" at work is different than my "facebook name" which has led to many questions about me being married/divorced/single mom. Lovely. Another thing I am not used to divulging to anyone because most people that know me already know all of my business. At least they are in their 20's.

By now it's the end of the day and all I want to do is sit with Bella in my lap and have my feet rubbed or watch some tv. All of which I am too tired to do because I am exhausted and I have to get up and go to work again tomorrow so I've got to wrangle this child up and get her in bed too and then throw something together to wear tomorrow and figure out when I need to get ready/leave etc etc etc. So there you have it. A brief history of my first week at work. This, my friends, is why I am a firm believer that MEN are supposed to toil the earth.

P.S. Sorry for using the word hell in the title, but I found it to be an accurate term in this case.

Tell me what you'd say when squashed in between 2 strangers on a golf cart when it's 110 degrees outside and you're being shuttled to work. GO.

Check Yes or No

Saucy : I would just like to start by saying, I am by no means searching for a man. But even if I WERE searching, I would NOT find one haha. Oklahoma is going through a little rough patch in the selection of eligible bachelors. The only one I can find that is even SINGLE now a days is Forney….and well….let’s not go there……But other than him they are all taken. Even the weird, unattractive, pervey, jerks got a significant other. I would like to think I am close to normal, not painful to look at, very classy, and super nice……and ….yup! I’m single!
Eyes of Blue: Saucy…I know you can’t stand sweet ol’ Forney, but we LOVE him!!! He may be a little socially incompetent, awkward, strange, and a total goober but he totally likes you AND little meatball! He just doesn’t know how to talk to us female beings. He’ll grow out of it too. You know he loves Wil since he asks about him every time we run into him. Take the other day for example when I ran into him at homeland….

Saucy : Forney Forney Forney……….UGH! My mother has a total cougar crush on the poor kid, and her and I have both agreed that if dear Gma Modern were in her 20’s she would be all over him! Hehehe. I just can’t see what everybody else sees, BECAUSE YES! He is socially incompetent. PERFECT description… And awkward.

He asks to come over to my house…..so I say, yes. He comes over. He sits on the couch and stares at me. Ok….uh…would you like me to do a flip?? And so I try and initiate worthy small talk, and he smiles, awkwardly looks from side to side….then mumbles something irrelevant and sits back in silence once again.

Eyes of Blue was just telling me a couple of days ago she saw Forney at Homeland and since he ALWAYS asks about me , he asked “how’s saucy and meatball, has meatball learned any new tricks lately?”. Eyes of Blue, Choc Chip, and I were overcome with laughter at this statement. Once when he was over we showed him that every time I pull on meatball’s cheeks (don’t ask, cheap amusement) , he will stick his tongue out. So poor little Forney assumed we treat him like a dog. Does he know any new tricks?? What do you want him to do?? Shake, roll over, and speak??! As far as I am concerned you all can date Forney if you like him so much, I’ll pass!

Eyes of Blue: But Saucy…he’s so funny! He just needs some growing up…he’s not used to talking to sweet, pretty girls, that’s all. I think you should be flattered. At least he's not stocker-ish and just out-right strange like the boys I had chasing me in high school. I wore a sign on me that said, don't come within 10 feet or else but somehow the weirdos were immune to my repellent. There was a time a wrestler left a carnation with a little note for me in the office saying,“Something beautiful for someone beautiful, signed your secret admirer”. And in keyboarding, I sat by this guy who always wanted to talk and hang out, but I would always kindly say no thanks. He eventually handed me typed up love note and at the bottom of it, he asked me on a date and to circle yes or no....

Saucy : I don’t believe I had any of those creepies pursuing me, although I assure you I would be quite embarrassed. Immune to your repellent that is funny hahaha….If Forney ever rights me a note that sais check yes or no…which I totally see him doing by the way, I will not only not date him, but I will block him on my facebook, block his number, and never to speak to him again. HMPH!

Eyes of Blue: Good thing silly Forney hasn't pulled any of those humorous stunts on you! That would have topped it all. But you know what... there is nothing wrong with being single right now. After all, we must follow cookie's great advice... "we don't need a boy...we need a man!!!" And if that fails...well... we'll be cat ladies together!

Will you go out with me?

Dress to Impress

Loki: Sometimes you say things that just baffle me...like why you get mad when I come over to the house and go run and then...oh my gosh, take 10 minutes to shower!!!

Stella: No. It's not that I care about you taking a shower. It's that you use all my stuff while you are in there! And then you get out and put on my make-up and accuse me of stealing your mascara. Uh, no. I bought that myself. In fact, I find it quite humorous that when you get out of the shower you put on your broom skirt and lace shirt. You guys should see her laying around the house in this get-up. Even Bess laughs at her. She tells us that the broom skirt is "comfortable" and that she just likes to wear it. But it's awful. Which makes it H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S. I actually enjoy her wearing it because then I always have something to smile about.

Loki: I really have no idea what the big deal is with this skirt. It's comfortable and it's in style.. It's beachy. I was just trying to find something else besides shorts to wear. I got a little tired of wearing my work out clothes all day every day. I was used to dressing up and looking presentable every day and then I find myself feeling odd with make up on now. I wear pajamas all day long and find nothing wrong with it. At one point I thought maybe I should get dressed so I look presentable for my husband when he comes home but then he would come home and say, "Why are you wearing that? Where are you going?"

Stella: He dresses pretty wacko himself. He's got these sheer, white, beach pants that he likes to wear. Probably because not only are they see-through and "breezy," they look like pajama's. And even though they are completely see through, he still wears navy britches underneath them. Rumor has it, he wore them to the firework stand in an effort to boost sales. HAHAHA.

Loki: He bought those pants in Jamaica. I think he saw some dude wearing them and thought to himself that he would look pretty good and beachy in them too. They were like $40 I think. Pretty expensive pajama pants. I thought they were a silly buy, but he had just asked me to marry him and he was in a pretty good mood so of course I did not want to argue with him about white breezy pants that surely looked nice on a beach.... but where else would you wear them? Turns out the man wears them everywhere.

Stella: I guess if someone wanted to marry me, I'd let him get away with such shenannigans too. But not for long....  I'd fake a "didn't-know-how-to-wash-them-and-they-got-crumbled-up-and-shredded-and-sadly-you-can-never-wear-them-again-but-maybe-next-time-you-take-me-to-Jamaica-we-can-get-you-some-more" accident. But that's just me.... Between his beach attire, your home-comfort-broom skirt and Baby Blue's never matching hair bows, you guys are one creative little family.

Loki: Yeah well, we do what we can. At least we arent dorky.

Comfort or Style?

Veggie Tales

Loki: Oh, where is my hairbrush? Oh, where is my hair brush? Oh where, oh where, oh where, is my..hair brush? Do you remember this song from a veggie tales movie? I think I watched it when I was a kid...or when my brother was a baby. Either way. I probably haven't actually heard the song in some 15 years or so and for some reason it is stuck in my head right now. (I did just read a veggie tales book...but I always think of that song.) What reason or lesson that song was teaching is beyond me or why my mushed brain has decided to hang on to this musical gem is beyond me as well. I know you will probably not approve of said topic, but I had nothing else to discuss... unless you want to talk about my breastfeeding again. I am pretty sure the breastfeeding word in itself will illicit some groans from the peanut gallery. I haven't stopped  I am still "trying" without much success.

Stella: I've always despised Veggie Tales. Let's teach children Bible stories using vegetables. It's retarded. Although I'm sure the producers don't think so as they are probably now loaded and unfortunately, I haven't come up with a way to make tons of money from a lame idea so who am I?  As a parent you have to learn to deal with these kinds of idiotic things. For example, 20 years ago parents were forced to sit through episodes of Barney. Something I don't think I could physically do so I do applaud all parents who sacrificed their sanity for their child's entertainment... The worst thing my daughter loves to watch is My Little Pony & Strawberry Shortcake, which have some of the lamest songs/story lines imaginable. I feel I should be rewarded with a huge medal for surviving these.

Loki: Ahh I wrote this post so long ago and you never responded. So let me just say that yes my child is no longer breastfeeding, hallelujuah! She stopped before she hit 16 moths so I went just as long as Stella. Congrats to me because I was seriously going to stop long before that. I think getting fired saved that. I would not have been able to keep up with the pumping schedule much longer. It was a rough go for awhile...the exploding breasts and Blue trying profusely to get up my shirt. (hahah. This is just funny to me now.) She no longer tries and for that I am thankful. She did stick her little head down there the other day and pretend like she was gonna latch on (we were in the bath...sorry if TMI) and then looked up and laughed. She was just letting me know she remembered. That will go away, she won't remember. Even though Bella told me the other day she remembered nursing on her mum. Anyway, yes you sacrifice your own entertainment for your child's...I even found Big T intently watching Phineas and Ferb while Blue was off playing on her own. Right now I have the luxury of watching whatever I want and Blue will still cuddle and watch with me. Why we watched some of Alice and Wonderland (Johnny Depp version) today. I know she will reach an age when I will have to start monitoring what is on the screen because she will not be able to watch True Blood or Sex and the City with me anymore. Say what age is that? My mother would tell me I shouldn't be watching those shows either but even shows on ABC Family are all about sex. It does give me the excuse to watch all the Disney movies I adored growing up (and watching Shirley Temple with my niece)...but if I remember correctly it's the repeat showings that get annoying.

Stella: That was WAY too much information!!! EW. Definitely too much. I don't know how I'm supposed to carry on with this post with that mental image in my head. Concentrate.... Concentrate... We weren't allowed to watch a lot of things when we were younger. The Simpsons & Roseanne are the two shows I remember... Although, even now as an adult I don't find that I would ever want to watch those shows. They say even in the womb the baby can pick up on the mood & feel of the voices around them- so even just watching violence & yelling on tv can disturb a baby in vitro. Now how much of that really affects them... I don't know. But even with monitoring shows there are things kids pick up on that you won't notice until later. For example, one day Bella said damn out of nowhere and when asked where she heard that word she said "The Cake Boss." So now there is no more Cake Boss on tv even though I'm pretty sure she probably just heard it at random. Even some Disney shows and too evil for me. I don't allow The Little Mermaid or Sleeping Beauty. I certainly feel like my mother saying these things. Oh, the times they are a changin'...

Loki: Stella- You are turning into our mother.

Have you turned into your mother?

End of the World

(This post was written on 5/20/2011)
Loki: Did you hear the world was supposed to come to an end this past weekend? Obviously, we are still all here... But what would you do if you know the exact day? Yes, I know this might be a little too philosophical for you, Stella, but I think it is fun to think about. Maybe fun is the wrong word... Interesting would be better.

Stella: Did you know that our mother is OBSESSED with eating popcorn? There is not a day that goes by that she doesn't pop a bag of her 'light' popcorn and sit on the couch and eat it. Most days she's also watching "Gilmore Girls"- the most annoying show in the world about a mother and daughter who banter back and forth talking as quickly as possible and in the most monotone voice you can imagine. Except their little quips and witty remarks are so scripted there is no way anyone just says things like that ALL THE TIME. Whew. I had to get that out. Back to the popcorn eating, if- for some reason- Bess does not get to eat her bag of popcorn for the day, you would think the world was ending!!! Ending, I tell you! It is crucial to her survival that she crunch and munch on those empty calories each and every day. Now, how's that for deep?!

Loki: I have too taken this habit home. Blue and I like to sit on the couch and munch on popcorn and watch the Gilmore Girls. It's fun... Popcorn is nice because you feel like you are eating a ton, but you are not. I don't care if they are empty calories. I need some empty calories... One can only eat fruit and vegetables for so long. It is sort of like Jello...it has only 10 calories for 1/2 cup, so just think how much jell-o you could eat! But really, I can only eat a little bit of jello...then it just turns disgusting. Anyway, we were not talking about empty calories or mom's weird habits that you do not like. I was asking what you would do if you only had one more day on Earth. I would spend it with my family, I guess. I am sure most people (those that like their families anyway) would say. I would go to a park or some where that Blue would have fun at. I don't know... I definitely wouldn't be counting calories.

Stella: I still think this post is pretty funny, even though it was written a few months ago back when the world was ending and all. I just find it humorous that Bess eats so much popcorn. So does that Baby Blue. In fact, that baby eats so much food in general that I find myself hiding from her whenever I have anything because I don't want to share with her. What a horrible aunt, Loki must be thinking. But the only person I share with is Bella. Sorry. I don't see you bending over backwards to give your niece your things either. haha. Another funny thing Bess does is say The Computer Man's name over and over to him. It's like she can't talk to him without addressing him by his first name. She'll say, "Now, TCM..." or "Are you listening to me, TCM?" I don't think she's ever said a sentence to him without including his name in it. I'm pretty sure it drives him crazy.


Loki: I haven't noticed that before about Bess but now that you say that... it is so true. And that is weird. You don't share your food with anyone, not even Bella. You hoard that food. I would like to tell you that my MIL told me that when Big T was a wee one that people would tell her he looked like a malnourished ethiopian baby. (You know the really skinny kids with bloated bellies.) He would stand with his back arched like my precious baby Blue does. (Stella just called my baby that the other day.) She has learned to suck in and then stick out her gut. It is quite entertaining to me and the child is not malnourished. She literally eats more than I do. I bought a 10 lb box of animal crackers at Sam's yesterday. I will let you know when I am out.

Stella: That kid has issues. I'd blame them on the father as long as you can if I were you too. But when she's still sucking her thumb at age 14 and running around throwing huge drama queen fits, your time will be up. Yesterday in the pool, little Meatball was over and started gnawing on Blue's floatie that was nearby and within his reach. It looked like a good chew toy, I must admit! After she watched him for awhile, she decided she didn't like it and she swung her arm and yelled "Ow!!" as if he had been biting her. It was the funniest thing ever. Drama Queen. haha. Have I mentioned yet that we don't have a computer chair anymore so we have to sit on a big exercise ball if we want to be on the computer? After the first few weeks Bess was smart enough to lay a towel over it because any time you would sit for longer than 2 minutes your legs would stick to the thing. Okay. That's all. Bounce, bounce, bounce. Harder to type while bouncing....

Loki: Only our mother would never replace a broken office chair and just drape a towell over an exercise ball. I am sure she thinks that it will give TCM some more exercise if she never puts a chair there.

What other things are weird about Bess?
What would you do if you knew the world was ending tomorrow?

PET PEEVES ANYONE??

Good morning everyone! We would like for you to please welcome our dear friends, Saucy & Eyes of Blue, to the bantering! (And somehow TMC got in on this one.) It has been quite awhile since we have heard from our wonderful cousins and although Saucy & Eyes of Blue will never be quite as odd as Saucy & Curls, they are still pretty entertaining... :)

XOXO, Loki & Stella

Saucy:  Okay, everyone has them. I do not care how sweet or precious or compassionate you are-YOU HAVE PET PEEVES. To prove my point, Eyes of Blue, even the most precious, sweet, and compassionate of all, has pet peeves. Eyes of Blue???

Eyes of Blue: I hate being interrupted. Like….I hate being interrupted! I just won’t talk anymore. I can’t stand when I’m walking through Walmart and the squeaky cart won’t stop squeaking. Seriously? Who has that dang cart???What are your pet peeves, Man Child?

TMC: I hate when my sisters give me mean nicknames like The Man Child, and everyone else thinks they get to call me by that name as well. I also hate when people tell you the end of the movie when you haven’t seen it yet….

Eyes of Blue: I hate when people talk during the whole movie and predict the whole time what will happen in the next scene. I also HATE BEING LATE! When I say I’m going to be there, I’m going to be there! It’s simple, If you say “I’ll be there at 7.”….then be there at 7!!!

TMC: Why do I feel like all these pet peeves are all about me?!

Saucy: Uhm, because they are! Man Child, I do love your nickname. I think it's funny, and whoever discovered it is a genius! My biggest pet peeve in the entire world is SHARING MY FOOD. Okay…there is a WHOLE cake in the kitchen, I have one piece of cake on my plate. “Can I have a bite of that”….”uhm sure?”……WHY CAN’T YOU GO IN THE KITCHEN AND GET YOUR OWN PIECE! Haha. Now all of you are going to think I’m a stingy snake! My second pet peeve is I’m telling you people, I cannot leave this house without hearing my father’s wise words, “Don’t back into anything.” Seriously? Granted, I probably deserve this but that does not change the fact it’s a pet peeve of mine. My last and final pet peeve is when my parents make out when my friends are over. Get a room!!

TMC: I hate it when ppl can dish it but can’t take it. It’s ludicrous, I tell you! LUDICROUS!

Saucy: Gee, Man Child. To whom are YOUR pet peeves referring to? haha. OH, I thought of one more! I sneak into my mother's room to search for a casual decent t-shirt to wear. I slip it over my head and think “Perfect!” I start off with my day only to look down and there's a hole in the arm pit!! I don’t know what my mother does in her t-shirts, but all of em have holes in the pit!! She must be itchy in her pits or something!

Eyes of Blue: I hate when people walk into work and complain to me like I'm their counselor.

TMC: I hate when people leave electronics on when not using them, leaving dvds out of the case, and when guys come to work and DON’T WEAR DEODERANT!

TELL US : WHAT ARE YOUR PET PEEVES???